Constructive criticism can guide you away from bad practices and towards good ones. Try to be objective and look at what you're providing as though it's not yours.
This can be particularly difficult when you're deeply involved in a project but, if you can take a step back, you might see how to improve your way of working and avoid any negative outcomes down the road.
Did you need a more specific brief? Was there something you missed in the early stages of the project? Is the performance deadline too unrealistic? Think about it: if you can get a customer to tell you — and just you — how to give them the perfect product or service, that's information you've got that no one else has.
That puts you at an advantage over anyone else in your sector and can be used again in the future to get things right, even faster. Find ways to squeeze that information from your client or audience and get them to tell you what they really want. The language you use in response to criticism is vitally important. Try to avoid getting into an argument.
Instead, turn the exchange into a discussion about how to resolve the problem. This way you're still in a position to get paid and you'll waste less time guessing how to put things right. Consider phrases like:. Turn your words into action to show that you can listen to feedback, respond in the correct way and still get the job done. I was planning on dumping it in a few minutes. If someone has the courage to tell you your presentation stunk, don't waste time explaining that you needed more time to prepare or you didn't know who your audience would be.
OK, this one comes with a caveat. Obviously, you shouldn't automatically take the fall for something you didn't do, and there are circumstances when you'll need to defend yourself. But in general, keeping a learning mindset when it comes to criticism will bring the most benefit. When you see yourself as right all of the time, you're missing something. Politicians and spin doctors are experts at this. But refusing to tackle issues head-on is not only bad form, it's also self-defeating.
For some people, it's always the other guy's fault. But guess what? Those individuals usually end up pretty lonely. We can't control others, but we can work on ourselves. When we accept criticism, apply it, and move forward, not only do we benefit--but others benefit from our example. Let's go back to that opening story. Although I learned a major lesson that day, we could argue that David didn't respond with great EQ.
But I took his words to heart, asked him why he felt the way he did, and learned from his honesty. Answer these questions along with me, keeping in mind your situation. There I am reading the email that states that I caused problems and I would better use my talents and help in other projects. How do I react, what happens when I believe the thought that I am inadequate?
I make myself small. I am afraid what others who read that email will say. I picture a catastrophe. Who would I be without the thought that I am inadequate? What would I do, feel, or say if I could not think the thought that I am inadequate? I would be curious what makes my colleague think that I am causing his problems. I would ask him to meet me so that I could understand. I would entertain the possibility that there was just a misunderstanding.
I would not disregard the supportive emails I received from others. In fact, I would give much more credit to them. I would be much calmer. I would be genuinely curious about what went wrong without blaming myself. The turnaround opens us up to the possibility that the opposite of our thought feels as true or even truer than the initial one. Examples to the turnaround statement broaden our vision and help us see reality in its complexity. So what was the problem in the first place?
The criticism, or my deeply rooted belief that I am inadequate? The next time you feel hurt by criticism, look for the underlying limiting belief and question it with the help of The Work. This is how we keep our feathers well oiled. One day you might even find yourself grateful for criticism and the opportunity it presents to look inside, and better yourself. Crushed by criticism image via Shutterstock. Esther helps aspiring and established entrepreneurs challenge long held limiting beliefs and conquer fears that are holding them back from reaching their dreams.
Do you feel that fear of criticism stops you in your tracks? This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.
Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.
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